


A Dozen Reasons To Love You

by XtaticPearl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Background James Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Bets & Wagers, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship, Clint Is Bad At Wingmanship, Domestic Avengers, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Karaoke, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sassy Bucky Barnes, Sassy Steve Rogers, Steve Feels, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-12 21:19:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7122928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or eleven memorable bets between Steve and Tony, and one which went all wrong. Or right, if you look at it another way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dozen Reasons To Love You

It had started the way all wars begin. Not with a war cry, though Tony would later tell you that Steve's war cry was most definitely Tony's name, both in and out of the bedroom. But that's for later, for after the time Steve killed Tony and the genius began haunting the Tower. The beginning of it all, the first roll of disaster, had been two men fighting over one love.

"I saw her first!" Tony growled and narrowed his eyes at the blond muscle-man lazily petting  _Tony's_ love on his lap.

"Relax, you big baby," Steve chided lightly, not even bothering to take his eyes off the beauty in his lap, draped all over him, "You can have her later."

Tony breathed in sharply at that, pointing his index finger and taking a foot forward.

"She is not swappable, Steven," Tony bit out and huffed when he heard a purr from Steve's lap contradicting his words, "oh fuck me, she  _likes_ you!" The last part was grunted like the feel of it was bitter on Tony's tongue.

Steve raised an eyebrow but kept his eyes down. "I have magic fingers," he said dryly before a fond smile came onto his face as he used those magic fingers better, "and everybody likes me, Tony. I'm delightful."

Tony opened his mouth, thought for a minute and closed it. What was he going to say? Lies, lies, slander?

"Lies, lies, slander," Tony hissed and Steve rolled his eyes, not bothering to look up when the genius marched forward and peered at Steve's lap from behind the couch, his hand heavy behind Steve's cushion. "She's rubbing against you! Eww Steve, you're letting her get all your cooties. Steve Cooties. Scooties!"

"You really should check what you're eating, Bambi," Steve observed, raising his eyes lazily to consider Tony's petulant expression, "You're making even less sense than normal nowadays. Wrong mushrooms get into your salads?"

Tony was an extremely mature forty year old business savant and a highly dignified superhero. He did not blow raspberries at nonagenarians. 

He stuck his tongue out at Steve who scrunched up his nose before shaking his head and resting it back against the cushions. Tony's hand was almost touching his hair now and Steve shot him a lopsided smile.

"You  _could_ just agree that I'm her favorite, you know?" he teased and Tony hissed at him at the same time that the purr emanated from Steve's lap, making him grin wider, "I'd even let you play with her and me."

"FUCK ME!"

The screech from behind had both Tony and Steve turn around with the speed that gave a mother of a whiplash. 

"Oh, you," Tony commented lightly and rolled his eyes when he saw Clint standing in the kitchen, a broken bowl by his feet and milk splattered all over his shirt. Steve frowned at that and lifted his head up a bit to look at the floor with distaste.

"We agreed not to waste food, Clint," he reprimanded lightly and shook his head at Tony who was looking a bit amused now, "Seriously, did you see the news about No Kid Hungry? It's heart breaking, Tony. What kind of a world do we live in if people have no food to survive? What's the use of all the science and technology? What's the -"

"Okay, okay, I'll arrange for donations and help for your non-profit group list, geez don't do that," Tony rushed with a desperate frown that made Steve look thoughtful before smiling. Tony huffed and shook his head in reply. 

"Dude!" Clint spoke after a minute, clearly rebooting from whatever shock he had been in and rushing over, his socked feet squelching over milk and making Tony wrinkle his nose in disgust, "Dude! You two! Threesome! What!"

"Clint, use your words to form a sentence," Natasha's voice floated in and they saw her walk into the floor, her hair messily put up in a bun, "Are you asking Steve and Tony for a threesome or are you asking them about a threesome?"

"The second one!" Clint gestured wildly with his hands and Tony had to duck to escape one catching his face, "Look! There's a --oh--huh."

The archer peered at Steve's lap and snapped his mouth shut, one hand still pointing at it. The sleepy Ragamuffin stirred in the supersoldier's lap and stretched her neck up to blink pale eyes at him, narrowed and pissed at having interrupted her massage.

"Did you-seriously?-oh eww, Barton!" Tony shuddered and looked accusingly at Steve who was staring at Clint in confusion, "He thought we were fucking Muffin!"

Steve blinked and then glared at Clint before his face morphed into disgust and he resisted the urge to gag.

"How did you think  _that_ from eavesdropping our conversation?" he demanded shortly and Clint finally took his eyes off the cat to look sheepish at Steve.

"Did you hear what your mouths said?" Clint shot back, looking torn between being defensive and wary of the pissed of cat, "You said magic fingers! Christ! Who says magic fingers anymore?!"

"Steve does," Natasha said easily and snagged Clint by the back of his collar when he opened his mouth to squeak, "Now, you're already late for the briefing and you smell like a skunk. Hit the showers and scram."

Clint was well out of ear-shot when they heard him yell.

"...who the hell says  _scram_ anymore?!"

Natasha simply smiled serenely and gave the cat an understanding look before leaving as well. Tony blinked at the door twice and then looked down and blinked at Steve once.

"Why do we have idiots in my house?" he sighed and Steve eyed him pointedly before shrugging. Tony grinned at that and reached down to pet Muffin's head, "Don't think I won't win her back, Rogers, because I will. She is mine."

"Wanna bet?" Steve asked immediately and Tony had the most evil grin on his face. They did bet and a day later, Muffin was perched on Iron Man's back, strapped to it, as he flew over the Tower in victory, cackling like a mad man. Steve had been left glaring at him, fondly albeit, from the roof top, purple slime all over his head.

So you see, this whole thing had begun for love and it was mostly Steve's fault. And that is how the great Stark Spangled War began. To know why it ended the way it did, you'd have to know the milestones of the entire war. Eleven of them in total, according to Bruce and Jarvis' records, not including the final one, because that had been...well, you'll find out. The first milestone had been probably the most frugal one of all and Pepper often wished they had stuck to that kind even later.

 

 


End file.
